The Geeky Asian Guy Blog

One of the worst things that a stand-up comedian can do in a comedy club, or anywhere else for that matter, is to go on too long.  As bad as this is when the comedian is getting a lot of laughs, it’s an exercise in sado-masochism when the comedian is tanking – the comedian manages to inflict suffering on both themselves and the audience at the same time.  When you get the light, get the f*ck off the stage!

The only thing worse than going on too long is finishing early.  (This is especially true when the emcee is in the back room doing drugs.)

I’ve been doing stand-up comedy for an embarrassingly long period of time, considering that I’m not famous, rich, or insane.

Over the years, I’ve seen and spoken with hundreds of comedians and comedian wannabes, so for what it’s worth here are some tips if you’d like to give it a try.

1. Stand-up comedy is surprisingly easy.
2. Well, to be more precise, stand-up comedy is easy to do badly.  It’s almost impossible to do well.
3. One good way to get started is to take a class.  (But, if you can, try to avoid teachers with an obvious drug problem — and whatever you do, don’t lend them any money.)
4. That being said, no class, book, or DVD is going to give you a foolproof, sure-fire way to make people laugh.  If there were such a thing, you wouldn’t see so many crappy stand-up comedians.
5. If you’re brave, you can skip the class, and just go straight to open mics.  By the way, you may have to bring some audience with you — this is your chance to find out who your true friends are.  Also, if you bring a lot of audience, you’re going to go on dead last.
6. The number one mistake that new comedians make (other than being painfully unfunny) is that they talk way too much.  They tell super-long stories, trample without pausing through their punchlines (assuming they have any), and speed up when they don’t get any laughs.
7. The second mistake that new comedians make is playing some God-awful unfunny character, often for some reason with prop eyeglasses.
8. The third mistake that new comedians make is relying too heavily on lists of rules.  [IRONY ALERT]
9. Bombing is unbelievably painful and humiliating — it’s way worse than the time you crapped your pants in the second grade.
10. But getting a roomful of strangers to laugh at something that you came up with is infinitely sweet.

Break a leg!  (or an ego, anyway…)