Archive for the ‘Travel Tips’ Category

Blogging from China: Ugliness at the Buffet

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009

The hotel has an above-average breakfast buffet.  Maybe 8.0 on a 10.0 point scale.

So yesterday, at breakfast, a large white guy is standing in front of the toaster.  He towers over the woman he is talking to — one of the Chinese restaurant workers.

The white guy says:

“You really need to get a new toaster, because this one iS A PIECE OF SHIT!”

He doesn’t notice me (or, more likely, doesn’t care).

Man, this is something I’ve dreamed of for years — my chance to say something rude in perfect American English to some jerky white guy who isn’t expecting it, and who thoroughly deserves it.

Like:

“Well, you oughta know about shit, seeing as how you’re such a huge ASSHOLE!”

Or:

“Why don’t you leave this woman alone and go back to beating the crap out of your wife and children?

Or even:

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?”

But I’m speechless.

America’s number one export:  Entitlement.

Blogging from China: Restaurant Irony

Monday, October 19th, 2009

China has the worst takeout containers I have ever seen.

If only, if only there was some way to mass-produce a cheap, sturdy, paperboard food container…perhaps with fold-down, locking top flaps and a wire handle…maybe even a cheesy drawing of a dragon…

Blogging from China: Signage Hilarity

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009

Okay, I know, it’s not cool to make fun of Chinese people grappling with the English language.

But look at the emergency instructions mounted to my hotel door in Hunan Province:

sign_hilarity

Roget, eat your heart out!

Blogging from China: Restaurant Hilarity

Tuesday, October 13th, 2009

In China, when you go to a restaurant (even a not very nice one), the first thing they ask you is what kind of tea you want.

You would not believe how many options there are.  At better restaurants, they give you a multi-page tea menu, which as far as I’m concerned is just another great, big opportunity to embarrass myself.

At one restaurant, I told the server that I didn’t want tea.  This, apparently, is a hugely weird thing to do.

After the server recovered her composure, she asked what I wanted instead.

I said, in horrible Mandarin Chinese:

“I’d like a Coca Cola, please.”

And she said, without missing a beat:

“Is Pepsi all right?”

Blogging from China

Saturday, October 10th, 2009

Here I am in a spiffy hotel in Changsha, the capital of Hunan Province.

If you are a geek, and you are planning a trip to the PRC, here are some random travel tips, in no particular order:

  1. In order to get through airport security in both the US and in the PRC, you’re going to have to take your notebook computer out and have it x-rayed separately at least 3-4 times.  Do yourself a favor, and make sure that all of your notebook computers are easily accessible, and can be returned to safety with a minimum of repacking.
  2. X-rays haven’t seemed to have harmed the data on my hard drive, but you would be well advised to keep copies of important data on some other form of storage (like a CD, memory stick, etc.).
  3. Travel adapters are, by and large, worthless.  (You might want to keep that in mind at Christmas time, and while browsing at Brookstone.)  It turns out that the ones my wife bought at Target have prongs that are too fat to fit into the wall outlets at the hotel.  In any event, the adapters were unnecessary, because the hotel provided us with an adapter that works just fine.  Also, you can plug a two-prong outlet directly into the wall, without any adapter.
  4. Further to the above — adapters are not converters!  Make sure that whatever you plug in is rated for voltages up to at least 220V.  (Look for some printing on the device that says 110V-240V, or something like that.)  Almost all chargers for notebooks, PDAs, etc., don’t require a converter, but don’t say I didn’t warn you!
  5. If you really need 110V, you’re going to have to buy a converter, and bring it with you.
  6. A lot of hotels in China provide wired internet — they will provide an ethernet cable for you, so you don’t have to bring one.
  7. You don’t have to bring a router — assuming you have at least one notebook with both an ethernet network card and wireless, you can convert that notebook into a wireless router by building an “ad hoc” network.
  8. Skype rocks!  I’ve been calling folks back in the US for 3 cents a minute.  (Be sure to bring a headset with you.)
  9. Some sites are blocked, including YouTube (sigh!).  You can get around this, by using a virtual private network (VPN), but so far I haven’t bothered.
  10. A lot of people are going to be amused if you look Asian but can’t speak Chinese.  (Often, they will assume that you are Korean.)

More later!