I used to think that white parents want their kids to be happy, and Korean parents want their kids to be doctors.
Now that I’m older, I realize that Korean parents also want their kids to be happy.
It’s just that Korean parents can’t conceive of how their kids can be happy if they’re not doctors.
I’m standing in the parking lot at Staples, waiting for some cars to get out of the way so I can walk to my Corolla, when someone honks at me to get out of the way so they can take the parking space I’m standing in front of.
More out of reflex than a desire to be helpful, I step aside. Then it sinks in — the person who honked at me is a thin, suntanned woman wearing a fur coat and driving a gleaming BMW.
Suddenly, I am filled with rage.
I dash to my car, hop into the driver’s seat, and quickly back out of my parking space hoping that I’m not too late to drive up behind Ms. BMW as she is walking up to the Staples entrance and give her a nice big honk of my own.
But she is still in her car, yammering away on her cell phone.
Proving that you can be immature at any age, I drive around so that I am in front of her and give her the one-finger salute. I’m not 100% sure she has seen me. For a few paranoid minutes driving down Route 9, I wonder whether she might be following me.
Later the same day, my 14-month old daughter wakes up from a nap and for a second looks like she doesn’t recognize me. My 7-year old asks me why the baby is crying.
“Maybe she had a bad dream,” I venture.
To which my 7-year old replies: “Maybe we’re her dream…”
Hey, all you Asian Americans out there, lighten up on your moms!
I’ve seen The Joy Luck Club, so I know it’s not all roses, but there comes a time in every Asian American’s life when you realize that maybe your mom did the best that she knew how. (And in my case, I think she did a pretty darned good job.)
And even if you feel like your mom fell short in a big way — hey, cut her some slack. I bet she has some issues with her mother.
At a luncheon a few years ago, I found myself at one of those big round tables sitting next to my cousin, the philosophy professor.
During a lull in the conversation (hard to believe, I know), I said for some reason or another:
“Wasn’t it Kierkegaard who said that ‘when you define me, you negate me’?”
I meant it to be kind of a throwaway line, but my cousin got very excited and for the next 30 minutes talked to me very passionately about Kierkegaard, Existentialism, and Zen Buddism.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I wasn’t quoting Kierkegaard — I was quoting Wayne’s World. (Mike Myers delivers this line in subtitled Cantonese, as he tries to impress Tia Carrere with his language ability. The exact line is: “Was it Kierkegaard or Dick Van Patten who said ‘if you label me, you negate me’?”)
But, you know, now that I think about it, maybe Mike Myers was on to something…
Shortcuts aren’t.
Procrastinate later.
